Close your eyes and think of an opportunity that knocked at your door out of nowhere. What did you do? Did you welcome it? Did you choose to close the door just because you were unsure how to face it? Or you wanted to have that opportunity but could not because fear of success had suddenly grabbed you?
Now, you are left thinking: “If I had seized that opportunity, I would have been celebrating success. But, here I am!”
It might sound strange but did you ever wonder why you did not seize the opportunity when you knew that opportunity was made for you only? What made you shy away?
Sometimes, you might have seen yourself analyzing the whole situation about what went wrong. Then, you might have told yourself that you would not do that again. But when another occasion came, you felt so overwhelmed that you went back to your nest.
So, what did you miss during your analysis part or what made you afraid of seizing the opportunity?
It is possible that you might have overlooked the fear of success. Let us talk about this particular fear in detail.
Fear of Success:
The fear of success is about being afraid of achievement or success, sometimes to the point that you will start to sabotage yourself. Although we usually see success as desirable, there are people who are afraid of doing too well. Remember: being afraid of success is as real and rational as just fear of failure is.
It is also possible that you are afraid of your success even after you have been working so hard.
Fear of success deals with the belief that you will be incapable of handling the pressure, facing the challenges, or meeting the expectations directed toward you once you have embraced success or something grand. This fear is rooted in your subconscious mostly. Therefore, you are unable to notice it let alone eradicate it.
Simply put, some of us prefer to stick to our routines rather than trying to face new things.
Cause of Fear of Success:
One of the reasons can be that you learn to keep your eyes on the goals and make conscious choices to achieve those goals all your life. On the other hand, nobody tells you how to react or handle when you have achieved success. This lack of awareness contributes to feeling afraid of success; thereby, turning into the fear of the unknown.
Other causes that can trigger this fear are:
Imposter Syndrome:
Imposter syndrome can also result in the fear of success. Sometimes people think that those who experience success fear their accomplishments are either underserved or not experts. So, they may start fearing that they won’t be able to live up to expectations.
Fear of Backlash:
Sometimes you fear success because of the anticipated potential relationship or social constraints. This phenomenon is also called backlash avoidance.
For example, some women avoid self-promotion just because they think that it does not align with conventional gender roles.
Childhood Experiences:
Childhood experiences stay with you for life, and sometimes you are not even aware of it. For example, If you were belittled, scolded, bullied, or mocked for success as a child, it can keep you moving away from success. If you notice, this running has become your defense mechanism. You prefer to avoid success instead of facing negativity.
Shyness or Social Anxiety:
If you are a shy or socially anxious person, you may fear embracing success because you do not want to become the center of attraction.
How does it manifest in our lives?
This fear manifests itself in a variety of forms, such as:
- Avoidance:
You may avoid being the center of attraction, even when you deserve it. You may try your best to avoid being praised.
2. Procrastination:
You may start to delay both starting or completing a project. By employing procrastination, you know that can miss the opportunity altogether.
- Perfectionism:
You may believe that you are keeping the bar very high and that is why (you believe that) it will be impossible to achieve the goal. - Quitting
You may manage to find an excuse to quit every time before the goal is achieved. - Self-sabotage
You may set barriers in your own way or wear the facade of being strangled in unhelpful scenarios.
- Self-destructiveness
Fear of success may manifest itself as self-destructive behavior.
- Anxiety
- Guilt
- Pressure
- Discomfort
- Lack of motivation
Ways to Overcome It?
Once you have identified that you have this fear, let me tell you have solved half of the problem. The next part requires patience and persistence. Be consistent and invest your efforts with the intention to get better. It will do wonders!
So, how can you exactly get rid of this fear now?
Psychoanalytic Therapy:
Psychoanalytic therapy helps you understand unconscious influences and childhood experiences which, in turn, explain how they can result in a person’s existing problems.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy:
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you learn how to recognize the automatic negative thoughts that result in maladaptive behaviors. By pinpointing and understanding these negative thought patterns, you can learn how to cultivate more positive ways of thinking that won’t hamper your capability to accomplish your goals.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy
All you need to do is:
- Sit in a place that is both warm and comforting.
- Open a diary (journal) and start writing these fears.
- Acknowledge your fear without any judgment or criticism.
- Trace the origin of your fears by questioning them:
“Why do you feel that you will not live up to the expectations of your boss?”
(Hint: most of the time, the fear stems from past or childhood experiences). - Instead of criticizing, explore your thoughts and fears with curiosity and write about them.
- Take a deep breath and say kind words to yourself, such as “It is okay if you are afraid of success.”
- Next, write the opposite of those fears.
- The last step is to focus on those alternatives (opposite thoughts) whenever the fear of success starts to haunt you.
When you encounter these fears next time, try to think of the opposites
