If I ask you, how to enjoy life or what makes one’s life worth mentioning, what would you say?
Chances are high that you might jump to the harshest, saddest, and hardest moments of your life, because we all have heard that it is these cruel moments that define your life, give it a purpose, and turn you into a better person. Perhaps you might quote someone to support your point. As Khalil Gibran said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls,” or Susan Gale said, “Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” After that, you might add the touch of distinction by saying something of the sort, “You cannot imagine the intensity of pain I went through during the …”
Here, you have already declared and clearly mentioned that no one has ever felt the pain you have experienced, so it is worth telling. Obviously! You don’t want to feel common by acknowledging that everyone is going through the same intensity of pain. Plus, this distinction helps you justify your actions and escape quick, on-the-spot judgment. I mean, who would not pity you when they know how much and what kind of pain you have endured?
It is also possible that you might turn to the happiest moments of your life. You think that nothing is more worth mentioning than recorded giggles and laughter. And it is one of the moments to teach your audience how to enjoy life! So, in this case, the most expected responses might be:
- “Well. When I used to be carefree and had everything.”
- “When everything went exactly as I planned/wanted.”
- “It was the time when I bought this/got this.”
- “I was only happy when I was a child.”
I hate the last one primarily for two reasons. First, that’s a straight lie. Second, you are an attention seeker (no offense!). If you were happy as a child, know that you had an active role in creating that happiness. See, when I was a child, I used to play with dolls, and it made me happy. When I grew up, I replaced dolls with digital games where I would play several “Make-Up” or “Dress-Up” games. When I grew up further, I started dressing myself up, and that tradition still goes on. I always actively created happiness without realizing it. In other words, I planted a seed of happiness in my childhood, which is still blessing me with the shadow of its happiness. So, if you say you If you feel like you’re never happy now, you might be a ‘wanna be’ seeker of happiness who hasn’t noticed the small joys around you yet, or you could be going through a period that needs patience and care.
But, if we eliminate both options (happy and sad) mentioned above, would you rely on ordinary moments to make your life worth mentioning?
Maybe not. Maybe yes.
Let’s cater to the second “maybe” first. You begin with the question of how your life can be worth mentioning, especially because of all the everyday moments. You start thinking, and you realize that life’s special moments cannot be summarized into a few big flashbacks (no matter you call them saddest or happiest ones), because just like passersby, they leave. They are not permanent residents in your life. Instead, these are the very “smallest moments” that always stay with you, no matter if you notice or ignore them. It is these rarely realized and micro-moments that make your life worth celebrating and enduring and answers to the question how to enjoy life.
Now, note that “ordinary” here can take many forms.
For example:
- It is the short yet comforting hug from your friend when things go south.
- It is the soothing air kissing your face gently after you have walked out of extreme heat.
- It is the bittersweet feeling of leaving for work.
- It is a delicious meal after a hard day.
- It is a sip of water that soothes your nerves.
- It is the murmuring of your heart telling you, “It shall pass.”
- It is the ear that listens when you tell them about your boring day.
- It is your father’s old eyes, smiling and lighting up when you crack a lame joke.
- It is when you open your eyes and see the color of tea, feel the texture of your mug, and hear the beat of your heart.
When you notice these moments, you see your life as a collage made of different colors and pictures. It is these tiny moments when you realize you are living and not existing. They make you smile. They make you happy. And they bring contentment and stillness in your life.
Now, come to the first “maybe.” You don’t think of these moments, for they are neither uncommon nor unique experiences like the ones you experience when hit by a big tragedy or a grand achievement. So, why would you focus on something that does not make you stand out in the crowd and make everybody see you?
That is exactly the reason that you need to celebrate these moments, for you are not here to win or gather some applause at all times. You are here to live, and sometimes living means being silent, being overlooked, and being invisible. Everybody lives through these experiences. They are just unaware of its existence and impact. You are not in a race to stand out; you are here to leave an imprint. This imprint does not need a grand tragedy or accomplishment. A few realistic moments will be more than enough. So, next time when someone inquires about your worth-mentioning event, let your heartbeat rest a while, let your thoughts wander in everyday moments, and let your tongue describe the beauty of ordinary moments.
When you speak of beauty, your listeners will see the impact of ordinary moments. They will learn how to enjoy life.
So, let your words help them see what they are missing, let them learn the meaning of life, and let them find a way towards a life that leaves lasting impact.